Anthony from Oregon - RIP June 18 2014

[argonaut]

Did I Do enough?

Did I research enough

Did I spend enough

Did I give enough time

You are gone

But once were mine

Lord give me the serenity to accept the thing I cannot change

Could I have changed this?

The courage to change the things I can

Was my courage not enough?

And the wisdom to know the difference

This wisdom I do not have

Just a pain in my heart

That I pray guilt does not rip apart

Did I do enough?

By R. Scott Olsen

Rest in Peace Anthony

[Olga]

Scott, at this current point of the human history, ASPS is an incurable disease. We all are just trying to hang around long enough for the cure to be found, but many of our patients just can not survive long enough to see it a reality. I know that all the nightmare of the last period and the overwhelming guilt and regrets are extremely painful for you and the rest of the family but please take at least some consolation in realization that at least Anthony is not suffering anymore from the pain and helplessness. We will now move his topic to the rest of our dear guys and girls that we lost to ASPS, to our RIP forum where we are going to remember them as long as we can, as we are able carry on with this board.

[D.ap]

Scott
My heart is breaking
My wish to you as time passes is for less tears and more smiles
Your poem was beautiful

I found another beautiful poem to share-

Sweet Child

by Unknown Author

God made a sweet child
a child who never grew old
He made a smile of sunshine
He molded a heart of pure gold.
He made that child as close to an angel
as anyone ever could be
God made a Sweet Child
and He gave that dear child to me
Then God saw His wonderful creation
growing very tired and weak
so He wrapped the child in His loving arms
and said, "You my child I keep"
But now my Sweet Child is an angel
Free from hurt and pain
I'll love you forever, until we meet again
So many times I have missed you
So many times I have cried
If all my love could have saved you
Sweet Child you never would have died.


All our love
The Josh P family

[Bonni Hess]

Dear Scott,
With deepest sadness I read your beautiful, but heartbreaking poem of questions and guilt regarding the devastating loss of your beloved Anthony. As a parent who devastatingly lost our precious oldest son in a tragic vehicle accident nine years ago yesterday, I know that there are always these questions and guilt for us surviving parents even though there is no valid or logical reason for the guilt. We as parents feel that it is our job to protect our precious children from all of Life's dangers, harm, illnesses, pain, and suffering, but tragically it is not always possible to do so. We all do the best that we can, but sometimes even that is not enough because Life is so very fragile and unpredictable, and it definitely is not always fair.
You so graciously provided dear Anthony with a loving family, abundant love, and physical and emotional support when his biological parents were unable to provide that for him. As I said to you previously, truly all that love could do was done by you. This insidious disease was just stronger than that love, but yet Anthony was ultimately victorious over his ASPS because his precious young body is now cancer free, and the love that you shared with him Lives on forever in his soul.
As you continue on this very difficult grief journey, I encourage you to reach out to a wonderful organization for parents and families of children who have left this World too soon at any age from any cause. It is called Compassionate Friends and you can access information about it at CompassionateFriends.org. Compassionate Friends is a non religious volunteer organization of parents who meet together in communities all over the World to share with each other strengthening support, comfort, compassion, and a unique understanding of the devastating loss of a beloved child. As a fellow bereaved parent and someone who had met and known dear Anthony, please know that I truly understand your deep anguish and profound sorrow and pain more than most dear Scott, and that I am here to talk, to listen, to cry together with you anytime that you may want or need.
With continued deepest shared sorrow and sympathy, special caring friendship, and love,
Bonni

[Amanda]

Scott :*(
I am so sorry!!!! I am heartbroken!!!
You did all you could! You lived to heal him!

I am sitting with my back turned so my son can't see me cry!
I wonder how when i leave my family will feel? Will they feel as you did?

SCOTT! listen to me my dear wonderful man! You were everything! You were beyond all that i am sure he even knew he would be loved an cared for! I know i live this i sm him i am fighting...

We see the love the strife the tears inside you the fight to keep us.. an the nights you lay there and just don't sleep your mind is looking for that one thing to keep us here! Even if it is just so small!!! Am i doing it all are they happy pain? God Scott you were the best!
Dont question! You were an you are wonderful!

My love to my lost brother affected by this dam demon!
An my love to you! Dear warrior of love and life!

[D.ap]

Scott and family

Grief brings a realm of emotions. As normal as can be.

I hope that we have all helped with good suggestions and support to you and your families to date .
Life as you know it has been frozen in time but I promise you will go forward with every sun rise and will end with every sunset.
Please talk freely with your closets friends/family and always know that we are always here for you and your family

Please seek help from those most trusted if need be.
As Amanda has stated ,

We see the love the strife the tears inside you the fight to keep us.. an the nights you lay there and just don't sleep your mind is looking for that one thing to keep us here! Even if it is just so small!!! Am i doing it all are they happy pain? God Scott you were the best!
Dont question! You were an you are wonderful !

Sincerely ,
Debbie P

[D.ap]

Scott and family

Grief brings a realm of emotions. As normal as can be.

I hope that we have all helped with good suggestions and support to you and your families to date .
Life as you know it has been frozen in time but I promise you will go forward with every sun rise and will end with every sunset.
Please talk freely with your closets friends/family and always know that we are always here for you and your family

Please seek help from those most trusted if need be.
As Amanda has stated ,

We see the love the strife the tears inside you the fight to keep us.. an the nights you lay there and just don't sleep your mind is looking for that one thing to keep us here! Even if it is just so small!!! Am i doing it all are they happy pain? God Scott you were the best!
Dont question! You were an you are wonderful !

Sincerely ,
Debbie P

Checking in
Hope you were able to of found a smile today..in remembering Anthony today.


Love
Debbie and the ASPS gang

[Olga]

We are remembering Anthony today because his father sent me a PM that:
"Came across this in my local paper,
http://www.active.com/hillsboro-or/runn ... ps-5k-2016

I will be going, figured you may want to post it for other in the NW to see."

Thank you Scott for letting us know. We feel that Anthony is one of us forever.
Apparently the event is the kickASPS 5k run/walk will be from 10:00am-2:00pm on Saturday, March 5th in Oregon.
http://www.active.com/hillsboro-or/runn ... ps-5k-2016
I didn't know that Nathalie Traller raised $11,000 on her own to benefit ASPS research!
I also didn't know about the Rutledge Foundation who is working with Doctor Kevin Jones of the Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of Utah in developing two drugs to treat ASPS. Lots of digest and be grateful about.

[D.ap]

Scott and family .


Thanks so much for the article
Love and hugs to you and your family today and always

Love
Debbie